Carefree in a Careful World

What does careful mean to you? And while you’re at it…what does carefree mean to you? I won’t try to understand what rolls around in your noggin when I ask these questions, I’ll let you sort that- but I will share why I’m asking. I like to spark thought in others, because that thought can lead to behavior change, and those behavior changes can lead to more peace and productivity in life.

 I’ve been reflecting on these two words and they’re super interesting when you dig into the philosophical differences of the two. Investing heavily in care, thought, and concern of other’s opinions is how I define careful. Investing in awareness, experiences, growth, and enjoyment – that’s how I define carefree.

Golf is an easy way for me to describe the last paragraph. When I’m being too careful, self-talk takes over. Don’t slice the ball, don’t hit the ball into the woods, don’t smack one into the lake. I focus and focus and focus on that self-talk and what happens? Yes- I end up exactly where I don’t want to be - walking through woods or splashing in lakes looking for golf balls.

Carefree on the golf course is different. Carefree occurs when my focus is invested in the discussions with the friends, the focus on the color of green in the early spring, the beauty of soaking in blue skies, the taste of cold-beer, and the love of being outside – those experiences are free of care. Well, what was I caring about, anyway? I tend to care about what other’s would think and I care for scores on scorecards, so other’s might think positively of my mad golf skills. When I make a shift- and my focus transcends the score card and those opinions of other painfully average golfers, that’s when the purity of the golf swing comes out. The effortlessness of the game rears its head and a long drive, the pressure to achieve a great approach, and an amazing putt is no longer my focus, yet they happen. They happen because I release that care, exchange it for a focus on the other beauty around me - and that shift from careful to carefree, leads me to the very result I wanted in the first place, doesn’t it?

If golf isn’t your jam- then we can apply this with work, too. If I am careful about making decisions that could impact my businesses and I overthink and delay action – the very result is one I don’t want. Conversely- when I’m thinking of the business not about the business and when I’m thinking about the people, the clients, the partnerships (not only the numbers, the wins, the profits) – my decision making is swift and results lead to the numbers, the wins, and the profits.

Being carefree moves a person to the results they want, and moves them there without anxiety, edge, and pressure.

We live in a world that has been conditioned to be careful, so I’m curious to learn about some of the behaviors you use to be carefree versus careful. And- does being carefree create more peace and productivity for you?

If you enjoy these posts, please subscribe to The Paperclip Thinking Blog and don’t be shy to leave a comment, because I love discussions & dialogue. Want more discussion in your life - check out “The Venue” – a Zoom based discussion club that I facilitate every other Wednesday. To join the community, please email me (travis@paperclipthinking.com) and I’d be happy to welcome you into the world of discussion-clubbers.

A Tale of Two Cities...I mean Two Worlds

Thought pre-occupation can be considered collateral damage of a hyper-active mind. I’ve had a hyper-active mind since I can remember and there are times when I get tired of the desire to think. The constant curiosity, the desire to understand where a thought comes from, what sparked it, who planted the seed for the thought…you get the drift. Looking back – this hyper-active mind has done some great things for me (career performance, book creation, business ideas, coaching style), yet if the thoughts are left to run wild, that’s where it becomes more damage than beauty. ‘Thoughts Gone Wild’ don’t get me anywhere, unless anywhere means late or sleepless nights.

Daydreaming moments or eerily quiet times late at night when the thought train leaves the station… sometimes it can be creative and peaceful, and sometimes it’s angst over, why? Why what? Why not me? Why me? Why anything or everything? Those thoughts are stifling, tiring, sometimes dramatic, silly, and most of the time they are anticipatively fabricated, which can be the most unproductive use of the mind.

I live in the mid-west and since mid-December the skies are gray, it’s cold, and as I eluded to…it’s mid-winter in Michigan, so being outside requires gear that one could use to climb Everest and I’m more of a shorts and flip-flops guy. Toss in what I hope to be the tail end of a global pandemic and we’ve got a nice recipe for some blah days, right? This “locked down” world, has given me plenty of time to think, so when the collateral beauty of my hyper-active mind shows up (the ability to find intriguing and contemplative thoughts that could add value to my life), I write. What was the most recent collateral beauty amongst my winter doldrums? The thought of two worlds. More succinctly, I’ve been feeling stretched between two worlds, so let me offer a glimpse into what these worlds feel like.

World #1 is a place where opinions matter, a place where pressure is self-imposed, a place where what you have defines who you are. A place where keeping up is as important as the breath that fills your lungs. A place where your spot on the planet is determined based on what you do for a living or the school you attended, or the neighborhood you choose to live. A place where relationships can lose their Moxy because the time to invest in one another (the watering of the relationship so to speak) is replaced with Netflix or school events or travel sports or Tik-Tok or Facebook or Instagram…or all of it. This world could grind a person into pulp, especially if you have been made aware (or experienced) World #2.

World #2 is a place where the value we have of ourselves is clearly placed in the front and center of our actions and it underpins choices. A place where learning about another person, truly understanding and listening, so we can absorb stories and experiences about who they are become the table stakes of living. These table stakes allow us to embrace different perspectives and provides us with understanding of another. This becomes the currency of life. A place where daily exercise, clean food, and deep sleep are the prerequisites of existence. A place where judgement, ego, guilt, shame, jealousy, and animosity are historical stories from another world. A tired time and it is no longer accepted. A place where creativity is akin to the sunrise, because it occurs every day. A place where gifts of skill vary widely and compliment the community. A place where hugs, love, care, enjoyment of activity, fearlessness, and a steady flow of abundance are everywhere.

I’ve experienced both worlds. And for reasons that would take up more words than I care to type this morning, I own the fact that I’ve chosen to spend more time in World #1 than I have in World #2. How about you? Is World #2 illusionary, utopian, or simply a fabrication of imagination?

My opinion: World #2 and World #1 aren’t that far apart, and they are separated by the simplest of gifts. Gifts that all of us carry inside ourselves. I think we’ve collectively been fed, as if we were starving animals, the notion that World #1 is reality and in order to visit World #2 you must work, persevere, grind (for 30+ years) and then “retire”, so we can experience what World #2 has to offer. And we were starving animals, so we took a bite of this philosophy and then another and another…and before we knew it, we were falsely nourished from the idea that World #1 is the prerequisite to World #2. What if that was the illusion all along?

We thought we were being nourished, with the running, the carting to and from, and the grinding, yet were we traveling farther and farther away from the World that seems more peaceful? I think World #1 is the illusion, and most seem to refer to it as reality. I am a believer that both worlds are true and I’m a believer in the power of that simple gift mentioned a few sentences ago…and that gift is choice. I’d grown tired of World #1, became openly curious about World #2, and still, found some fear while working to fully commit to the behaviors that open the door to a full-time residency in the place that I describe as World #2.

How come?

I think fear plants seeds that sound like this, “too much would change if you really embrace world #2”. “Too many people think you’re weird if you aspire for World #2.” “Your family would surely feel that you’ve lost it- if we gave up some of World #1 for World #2”. “Let’s be honest…you can’t possibly find a place that fits into the description you provided, can you?”

Funny how fear can lock the gate with what we might think is “reason”. Fear locks the gate and freedom of thought and action can open it. What could happen to our lives and to our perceived worlds if we lovingly thanked World #1 for its experiences, its teachings, and its energy and then we peacefully step into World #2?

Full circle moment- my thinking is more intense than some and it is one of my gifts. I’m grateful for the curiosity that had me explore World #2, the patience to learn while in World #1, and now I have access to the gift that all of us have access to…the power of “choice” regarding where I spend my time, my thoughts, and my actions. I’m choosing World #2.

Which world are you choosing to live in?

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy one of my books, “Happiness is Over There” or “They All Went Inside” – both share stories that readers have deemed…inspiring. You might even enjoy a visit to The Venue (a discussion club, for all). My books share a passion for love, creative thought, introspection, and personal accountability (in very different ways) and The Venue is a weekly group discussion created to support vulnerable dialogue, learning, and teaching. Proceeds from my books are donated to The Amity Foundation of Dearborn and The Manistee County Child Advocacy Center (both care for families in need). Learn about Paperclip Thinking:  https://linktr.ee/paperclipthinking

It's Happening...

It’s Happening

The Happening is real, it’s love and it’s true.

It’s a Happening of energy radiant and blue.

It is all around us, all the time.

Can we choose to sit for just a moment and appreciate the power of the design?

So much power in the pieces that fit…

So much to learn while we rest, while we sit.

This visit to earth is purely adventure.

It ‘s opportunity to learn and that starts with surrender…

Some learning we accept, other learning we burn.

We burn this learning with our neglect to choose.

When will we learn that there’s nothing to lose?

We learn when we’re free, when we embrace our core.

Always choose love- always choose more.

See…this life is a visit, a ride, and a process…

This happening occurs every day…it is love all around us.

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to a life of light and productivity.  Through Paperclip Thinking LLC, I also support group and individual coaching sessions as well as book talks for groups of 15-20.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery or set up coaching and group talks/sessions.

Love Ourselves...

Love Ourselves

It’s the best thing to do when paths confuse.

To love ourselves can heal abuse.

The abuse we’ve experienced, chosen, selected, endured.

To love ourselves in truly the cure.

Our lives are made to feel complex and twisted.

They are neither of those things, why have we made them conflicted?

Have we made them through fear and concerns about others.

Friends, spouses, fathers…mothers.

Do we push away experiences and desires?

Then blame our pain and fear on others?

Soon we’ll learn to embrace our journey.

To smile each day and to learn from many.

Being quiet in mind and listening to learn.

These are the paths that truly warrant the yearn.

A yearn to grow, here and above.

The secret that was absent, maybe avoided…

Was our choice to “be” Love?

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to a life of light and productivity.  Through Paperclip Thinking LLC, I also support group and individual coaching sessions as well as book talks for groups of 15-20.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery or set up coaching and group talks/sessions.

Is it worth living...

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to a life of light and productivity.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery.

Is it worth living?  How would you answer that question?  What has you say yes or no?  Each of us when faced with that question will inevitably have some kind of perspective.  Those perspectives might be as shallow as a puddle or they could be as deep as the darkest depths of the ocean, and most will have answers that sit somewhere in the middle. I’ve spent more than 12 years answering that question and working to refine and support my answer with fresh experiences and data.  I wanted the data because my answer has changed over the years.  Yes- I’ve lived through periods (like so many have) where the idea of an “early exit” seemed plausible and I’m blessed to say that I’ve reflected back and share that 75% of my life has been filled with poetic reasons that support me in wanting to live and to explore and to learn on this planet. As one of my favorite philosophers, Osho, said, “never born-never died…just visited from 1972-?”.

The 2008-2018 time of my life was filled with intense learning due to a self-reflective project that was focused on my own personal accountability for choosing happiness and life over depression, anxiety, and early death.  I captured and journaled about experiences and my learning and I share my transition from dark to light with those who are interested in some change, themselves.

As a culmination of this project, I did something incredibly courageous… I wrote a letter to my family describing what led me to my depression and to the idea of “early death”.  I wrote this letter on September 19, 2018 and it was the first time I’d shared the explicit detail on paper.  I’ve read the letter to my wife and as a therapeutic way to gain closure on my “project” and as a way to open a new door of peace and happiness in my life. I made an agreement to live for a year working and living by the very principles that I discovered during my ten year project and I’ve been writing and exploring how I feel: mentally, physically, and spiritually. I wanted to see what life would feel like when someone practiced the principles that took me ten years to discover and refine. I’m following the five pillars of the Paperclip Thinking philosophy: I’m living life aligned to what I value of myself (being rested, being a story teller, being healthy, being a connector of people, and coaching those who request support), I hold myself accountable for all decisions I make, I reflect daily (through my journalism), I work to create value daily, and I’m intentional with how I live, each day. 

Here is what the last year taught me:

I’ve learned that it is nearly impossible to feel inspired if you only think about challenges in life.  Taking time to be vulnerable (with yourself and others) can be a good thing, yet only focusing that vulnerability on areas of improvement or negativity will crush your ability to smile.  In short- don’t be too hard on yourself.

I’ve learned that all things we experience will pass.  All of your decisions (and their consequences) will work out to be okay and nothing can impact your ability to choose peace and happiness, but you.  Your spirit will remain intently focused on harmony regardless of what you are experiencing, if you choose harmony and we get to choose, every day.

I’ve learned that I have placed money as the center gear of my life and I placed my happiness on the shoulders of that “money”.  I don’t recommend doing that.  Money is fun to have, it can make life’s journey easier, so I’m not advocating against having money, I’m simply suggesting that I had been working in reverse (do what I needed to do to get it), and I learned that if you focus on finding a way to earn the money through creating value for someone else (not doing anything necessary), doing something that inspires you…that is where special shit occurs (and that is what I do for a living now), so if you don’t feel aligned, call me and I’ll guide you through ways to get to the spot where I now sit.

I’ve learned that we are all part of a very special group - and there are so many fascinating stories, learnings, and experiences that you can gain when you spend time connecting with people, so please connect with as many people as you can.

I’ve learned that dialogue leads to connections, connections lead to opportunities and opportunities lead to partnerships - and this has become my mantra for living.

I’ve learned that this life if for YOU.  If you are in a dark place- that’s okay, because you aren’t alone.  Spark a torch – and you can spark that torch with dialogue and vulnerability.  Use that torch’s light to show you a different perspective on what you are going through and then remember the previous learnings I’ve shared in this article: don’t be too hard on yourself, all things will pass, focus on what inspires you, and connect with people.

Cheers to you and your journey…

Life's center gear...

If you enjoy these posts – you might enjoy a copy of my book, “Happiness is Over There” – which is a personal memoir detailing the stories, learnings, and exercises I used to shift my life from dark and chaotic to light and peaceful.  You can buy a signed copy at www.paperclipthinking.com or you can email me at travis@paperclipthinking.com to arrange book delivery.

It’s June in Michigan, which is one of my favorite times of the year.  The leaves have returned to the trees, the grass is as green as it will be all year, the flowers are blooming, the day time temperatures are in the low 70’s and the evenings require a sweatshirt.  Vacations have been scheduled, another school year is wrapping, and I can’t help but notice how each of these pieces fit together like a watch and its gears.  If you have seen the internal workings of a clock or watch, you might agree that it is quite a beautiful dance.  The gears spin, turning each other, and consequently moving the hands that share our perception of time with the world.  Each watch has a center gear, much like cars have a power train, or bikes have their crank shaft.  These “center gears” all receive energy and then they use that energy to turn everything around them.  As long as that center gear is in aligned and working, time seems to spin effortlessly.

Now…one wrong twist of that center gear and everything risks being thrown into chaos.

I like to compare my life to the nature that I live in and the watch I referenced above.  Our planet has its own center gear and it turns the tides, the seasons, and literally spins our planet around and around.  Our lives have a center gear, too, and it is my opinion that these center gears are critical to one’s ability to experience peace, productivity, opulence, wealth, and an overall happiness.

What is that part of you that you might consider the center gear? And…how many other gears does your center gear turn?  I have a work gear, a parenting gear, a philosophical gear, and an “out in nature gear”.  I have an exercise gear, a writing gear, a spouse gear, a relationship gear – and that about sums up what makes me tick.  Each one of these gears represents a facet of my life, so what turns all of my gears?  My center gear is my relationship gear, soulful connections as I like to call them.  If I am surrounded by soulful relationships, those types of relationships where conversations flow effortlessly, the topics of discussion are wide and varied, and the relationships are loose and free – then my other gears: work, exercise, parenting, etc. all seem to flow and produce amazing results.  If I don’t work on my relationships and choose wisely with whom I am spending my time, then life gets a little crazy.

If I choose to surround myself with unhealthy relationships, everything runs the risk of falling out of place.  How does your center gear affect your life?  Ponder on it, note those gears, and ensure you take care of that center gear, because it will support your life being aligned to the core of who you are and that is more powerful than most of us realize.

Cheers to all of you and your continued journeys…

Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience

I wrote this as an invocation for the Dearborn Rotary Club.  Thanks for the inspiration Candy Hipple & Lynne Hughes  and for becoming partners in a journey to support shifting perspectives on how the world is viewed.

Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience.

Action is energy that powers growth, learning, and experiences- How many ways could we “BE” ACTIVE?

Love is the energy that binds each of us- How many ways could we “BE” LOVING?

Vulnerability is the courage to speak and act with humility about topics that you may feel only impact a few, when in fact, they impact the masses. – How many ways could we “BE” VULNERABLE?

Transparency is the willingness to open your life’s book and speak from the experiences you have had and how they make you feel, so others may benefit. – How many ways could we “BE” TRANSPARENT?

Resilience is the energy that supports ACTION when Love, Vulnerability, and Transparency all seem to fall on deaf ears. – How many ways could we “BE” RESILIENT?

School Shootings, Unemployment, Missing Children, Political Adversity, Economic Challenges… we have so many reasons to consider giving up on the world.  Today, I stand here with the intention of reminding everyone I can reach that beauty still exists: the friends we have around us; the students I encounter daily and their energy for life; the support we are blessed to offer the world; the 49 degrees in the month of February (in Michigan); and the ability for each of us to choose Action, Love, Vulnerability, Transparency, and Resilience, daily! 

A ten-year journey to my first book and business...

Paperclip Thinking:  A ten-year journey to my first book and business…

In October of 2008 I began journaling.  I journaled as a coping mechanism at first, and as my journaling became more frequent, I began writing as a means to share and express how I was feeling about life (secretly searching for others who might have felt the same way).  In 2009 I realized that the content I was sharing was adding value in my life and to the lives of others, and that felt good.

Writing became a way to clear my head after spending too much of my life listening to that voice that told me, “I wasn’t enough” and “I wasn’t adding value in the world”.  At that time in my life, the only way I knew to quiet that noise was to choose behaviors that numbed the voice.  This subsequently moved me farther and farther from any recognizable chance for peace in my life.

My health (physically and mentally) was deteriorating and yet, I was able to keep a fairly strong outward appearance and I became a master at camouflaging my own misery, by wrapping it in bravado, know it all attitudes, party guy fun, and this most certainly did not feel good.

Trying to look good, not feel good led to a painful process of me losing myself and then choosing to mask that pain.  It was at this time in my life (2009) that the universe introduced me to something that I hadn’t expected, my coach.  We met through a work function and I chose to partner with her as she had lived similar challenges in her life and she had embraced different ways and perspectives of seeing life.

As I embarked on the early stages of my coaching process (2010-2012), I noticed something about my writing.  The journaling was showing growth and change and I was finding an intense solace with my perceived evolution.  The pain from decades of living in fear didn’t simply vanish, although I was able to see life differently and adjust some of my behaviors, so I could be more impactful as a father, husband, employee, and citizen.  This process led me to answer the most important question I’ve ever answered… “What do I value of myself?” and the answers to that question supported what I valued, so I could begin choosing what I wanted for my life.  I value:

·         My willingness to be vulnerable

·         My willingness to be transparent

·         My enjoyment from seeing opportunities to add value and connecting people to those opportunities

·         My enjoyment of the process of introspection and how introspection can impact lives and businesses.

·         My compassion for people

·         My love of storytelling

These are the elements of “me” and what I value of myself.  They now fuel me to ask others what they value of themselves and this question has empowered some amazing discussions.

With all of this energy, in December of 2016 I declared that I was a coach and that Paperclip Thinking (the business shell for my services) was launched.  And then…nothing happened.  Shit!  Where were all of the clients?  Why wasn’t this message being spread?  How much money would I make?

I had become very attached to the idea of this business and I wasn’t really doing anything with the business.  I became nervous and scared about whether this message would add value.  I couldn’t answer people’s questions (as recent as January 2017) about who I was coaching and how that coaching added value to other people.  I was being impatient and I was being fear based.  All of this negative energy led me to hide out and talk about coaching, but not live the principles I coach.  That didn’t work well.

I was starting to panic in the middle of 2017 and I found myself withdrawing from some of my own principles.  I decided to do something different.  I detached from all of it.  I detached from the idea that in order to be a coach, I must have a business.  I detached from the idea that having a business meant I must have hundreds of thousands of dollars, every year.  I acknowledged the fact that I didn’t create these principles, they were shared with me and I have a responsibility to share them with other people.

I detached from the idea that a coach must charge thousands of dollars per hour to be a coach and I returned to the principles I coach.  If I wanted to be a coach:

·         What did I value of myself and do those things align with my coaching? – Yes.

·         Was I willing to explore why I was feeling so attached (fear of failure)?  – Yes.

·         Was I willing to be vulnerable and transparent? – Yes.

·         Was I willing to be intentional with the messages I send out to the universe about my health, my peace, my wants, and my care for those I come in contact with, so I could live what I was coaching? - Yes.

This detachment from the look good, supported me in doing the very thing I wanted.  I answered the questions above and then, something cool happened.  The first paying client appeared, then the first referral.  Clients two, three, and four followed, and my first corporate client came to fruition (last week).  Paperclip Thinking was launched in December of 2016, but it became a reality in November of 2017 because I let go of caring about how the business looked and I focused on supporting others with how they impact change in their lives.  I’ve become a coach.

This process, which began in 2008, has sparked my interest in creating my first book.  I’ve utilized the information and stories from my journals as the content and the book, Happiness is Over There, is scheduled to launch by the end of the year.  What I’ve learned this year is very simple.  Instead of talking about being a writer, I wrote.  Instead of talking about being a coach, I coached.

Recognizing intentions for life and realizing change is a choice and it’s rooted in action.  I’m excited about how I can support others with the change they want and I’ll do more with the blog to keep readers updated through 2018.  I’m feeling blessed to do something I love, each day, so thanks to all of you who played a part in supporting this journey. 

Apologetic Humility

I have been guilty of using humor and apologies to glaze over fear & insecurity.  If I pick on myself with witty one liners, no one can laugh at me - they’ll be laughing at my one liner.  The apologies have been used when insecurity about an idea or concept surfaces and it goes like this, “so sorry that this may not be a great idea…” or “let me apologize in advance that I’m…”.  I think you get the idea and I believe most of us have done this before, right?

I find it common for our insecurities or fears to provoke all sorts of time wasting thoughts in our head.  I was in a recent discussion about my latest web-redesign with the CEO of a Detroit based digital company, Whim-Detroit, and I received some powerful insight on the topic.

Lori McColl is brave and powerful.  She is building her business from the ground up and the work she has completed in support of Paperclip Thinking LLC (www.paperclipthinking.com) has been amazing.  We were talking about the fear and insecurity that can rear up when you are starting something new and she looked at me and said, “the fear or insecurity we all face when we embark on a new journey, isn’t “glazed” over when you’re self-deprecating or inauthentically apologizing, the fear seems magnified to the people you’re talking to, so I stopped doing that!”

Her quote inspired me to think about the ways I work to prevent that fear and insecurity from getting too loud in my head and triggering that “let’s joke or apologize” button, so for anyone who has experienced this, here are a few ideas that may support you in approaching these situations differently:

de- “label” - innovation and creativity are rooted in idea generation.  I don’t subscribe to “good” ideas or “bad” ideas, they are simply ideas.  Some will add value and some might not and that is a beautiful thing.  I invite you to keep the ideas flowing and when you take the labels away, idea generation becomes less fearful and those amazing ideas are ready to share.

agendas -  I have been guilty of beating around the bush and then losing my idea and confusing the hell out of the person who is talking with me.  I’m working, diligently, to create agenda points for my crucial conversations, so when I’m on the phone I remain on point and this mini-agenda process has afforded me the ability to be more crisp and succinct and that has eliminated the fear and insecurity from my discussions.

Enjoy your week and thanks for reading!.

Coaching Curiosity- what do you do?

I was recently introduced to a potential coachee and she asked, “is being a coach just corporate speak for being a therapist?” and then she posed a follow up question, “and...what certifies you to be a coach?”  Both questions were powerful and both questions continue to inspire introspection.  

No- I am not a therapist.  Therapy is based in the past and I’m focused on supporting people with the present and their intentions for the future.  The person who was questioning me also referenced coaching as a way to “fix” people.  She shared her past experiences with coaches and these coaches were people who had been assigned by HR as a “corrective action” for a perceived faltering performance.  That makes me sad- both for her and for the reputation of the coaching process.  I’m not in the business of “fixing” people, because I don’t believe that anyone is broken and I won’t support coaching as a “fix it” endeavor.  I believe anything we experience in life is tied back to choices we make, plain and simple.  This belief is where my coaching is rooted and it is the cornerstone of how I’m coached, today.  When I support people, I coach them by sharing some of the experiences I’ve had and the results from those experiences (some healthy, some not- I share it all) because sharing can transition into invitations for my coachees to consider the results I gathered and then they can make their choice regarding whether or not applying those invitations may add value to their current situation (s).  Through 8 years of experience as a coachee, I’ve embraced choosing a new way to live, lead and support the people I encounter.  I’ve become comfortable with Paperclip Thinking™ and I have embraced a more divergent way to create value.  My energy levels are high, I’m taking care of my health (have shed 55 pounds), my discussions are more creative, my debt has gone away, income has increased and my wife and children share a deeper relationship with me than we had in the past.  These are the results that I chose to achieve and the coaching process supported me, so now I’m focused on learning what others want from life and I can support them in achieving their wants, too.  That’s what a coach is, from my perspective.  

The second question.  Am I certified?  No- I’m qualified.  Our society LOVES certifications, don’t we?  In the past, I’ve bought into the corporate dogma that states, “because someone is certified they must be qualified” and I’m no longer buying it!  When I selected my coach, it was important for me that the person was living life in a way that was inspiring to me (not whether they paid for a test and a certification) and as I sought coaching for my own reasons; embrace health, let go of fear, choose balance, experience career growth, and remain strong as a parent and husband, these were ultimately my wants and if I would have placed my wants into the hands of a coach who was certified, but not living in inspiration, creativity, innovation and growth, then it didn’t feel worth my time.

Am I certified, no.  Will I ever be, no!  Am I qualified, yes.  Forty-four years on this planet, a wife of 19 years, 3 children, 7 jobs, 2 careers, 8 years of coaching and a laundry list of experiences and the data that comes from them.  Through all of this, I’ve achieved the ability and willingness to choose peace.  So...what’s a coach, you ask?  A coach is someone who is passionate about sharing their experiences and offering the knowledge they’ve gained, so the coachee can benefit from a different perspective and work to achieve what they want from life.  I love to coach and I couldn’t ask for a better way to add value to those I come in contact with, daily.